From the September Sermon Series Blended
Do you remember that every so popular television show “The Brady Bunch”? Mike Brady is a widowed architect with three sons, who marries Carol Martin who has three daughters, and though there were many challenges faced as this family of eight blended- by the end of the sitcom, the issue was addressed, and the outcome was always positive.
The reality is that the picture perfect seamless blend that The Brady Bunch painted for us viewers, is not reality at all. In a world where about 75% of divorced persons remarry and 65% of remarriages involve children from the prior marriage, the blended family has become the new traditional home and the issues that rise from this blend can’t be fixed in a 30 minute sitcom.
If you are married you can attest to this truth: MARRIAGE AIN’T EASY. Now the aforementioned statement does not testify of the Love I have for my spouse. However, it does testify of the tediousness of two lives becoming one. This takes years of work and communication, you must have resolve, and compromise is a necessity. With that being said, consider the same process, but now add children and/or step children into this algebraic equation. Without skillful communication and setting realistic goals you’ll find yourself in the 60% of blended families that end in divorce. Generally it takes 4 – 7 years before a blended family can find their own unique rhythm. Remember The Brady Bunch Premise was as seen on TV only, you’ll never find it anywhere else. What you will find is traditional roles being redefined and new roles emerging as families start the blending process. Because of the variableness of human beings the challenge of unpredictability is inevitable. There is no proper forecast that will give you a heads up on the future, so deal in the now. For example if your new spouse’s child does not recognize you as their new step-parent, you shouldn’t force yourself on that child parentally. The reality is, that child might not ever accept you as a parent, and that is ok. Don’t forfeit the potential to make something great out of an unconventional outcome for the smoking mirror of an unrealistic outcome.
As a community leader and lead pastor of Vibe Church I’m compelled to spend the entire month of September breaking down ideologies that are cancerous to this sub-culture called Blended Families. I want to do my part in dismantling the staggering statistics previously discussed. Join me at any of The Vibe Church Sunday sessions starting at 10:30 am as we explore the sermon series “Blended”.