From the September Sermon Series Blended
Honesty is fairness and straightforwardness of conduct. Sounds easy right? To be fair and straightforward all the time without fail is actually a challenge to say the least. It’s easier to lie to yourself or others versus telling the truth. To divulge the insufficiencies of loved ones, members, and/or employees can be gut wrenching at the least. Let alone when we are faced with the opportunity to divulge our own insufficiencies it is even worse. As a father, manger, and Sr. Leader of a growing organization I always have to be honest about something or somebody, even if that something or somebody is ME. As you may know, the series that I’m teaching at my church for September is entitled, “Blended” It speaks of the challenges that most untraditional families are faced with as they blend into a single family structure. One of the challenges is honesty.
Honesty Must be Taught
Honesty is not natural, it is taught. Yes, let that sink in, honesty is taught, then reinforced by example or life lessons. It’s called Moral Intelligence. If a person is not honest, they were taught how not to be honest, as well there were examples that reinforced dishonesty to them repeatedly. Let’s take a moment of introspection, what have the examples in your life taught you? Also, what are you currently teaching? This is so important because it enables each individual with the ability to breed a culture of honesty in their microcosm, and if done consistently will cause a subtle, but impactful change in their community.
What Does it Take to be Honest?
We live in a society that appreciates the person who puts on good appearances. Due to the popularity and necessity of social networks and reality TV etc. what’s real and honest can be easily traded for what is superficial. Operating under this consciousness over a period of time knowing or unknowingly creates dissociative behaviors that if not recognized, can become clinical. Going against the grain and demanding that you live in truth and tell the truth, will inadvertently set you against the masses of this culture. Below are 4 of the many things you have to have to be honest.
- It takes a security in who you are and what you are to be an honest person.
You have to be comfortable saying things that are opposite of the opinionated majority. If you don’t like confrontation, or you are overly concerned with other’s opinions of you, it is very likely you are not as honest as you think you are.
- You must be secure in the meaningful relationships in your life.
Many times people are dishonest because they are afraid that relationships will be ruined by truth. The reality is, if telling the truth can ruin a relationship, then your relationship is more than likely false. Real relationships are based on likeness and secured in truth. Let’s take a test, practice being 100% honest in all of your relationships. The results might be very telling!
- You must be dedicated to the truth whether it’s for you or against you.
Do you know that one person that dishes out the harsh-full truth at others expense, but require love and delicacy when they are being confronted? Yes, I do too! That person is not a person of truth. They are a hypocrite at best. To be honest, you have to be dedicated to the truth whether you are giving it or receiving it. Proverbs 21:2 states in the IES version, “Every man’s lifestyle is proper in his on view, but the Lord weighs the heart.” The first part of this proverb screams to me that we can fool ourselves into thinking we are right when we are not. If you are not a person that is open to letting loved ones offer you corrective criticism, then you are person that is blind and full of character insufficiencies. OUCH! Yes, I know that hurt, but I am just being “honest”.
- The responsibility of Love Ones
As I started off with, telling the truth isn’t easy, especially if a person is not use to being truthful and attempting to turn over a new leaf. Did you know that you have a responsibility to assisting your loved ones in being honest? Your responsibility is your response; it must be non-judgmental and open. Especially if someone is confessing to you their faults, you must be mature enough to hear someone’s dirt without making them feel dirty! This is why honesty will test relationships, because both parties have a responsibility in the exchange, the truth giver and the truth receiver.
I am burdened by the numerous of homes that are being destroyed because of the lack of honesty. As I am teaching from the September Sermon Series “Blended” I’m discovering that honesty is one of the key factors that will propagate the mesh of blended families. If you are in the greater Raleigh, North Carolina area, I would love for you to join me at Vibe Church located at Heather Hills Country Club 901 Claymore Drive Garner NC 27529. I really feel that this series will touch you and your family’s heart!