Everyone has disagreements, but how they are handled determines if everyone will great relationships! 🙂 Here are three steps on how to deal with arguments properly.
- Make sure there really is a disagreement. I have seen more times than none where people are in an argument, but what they are arguing about isn’t really the issue, it’s just a mask for other frustrations. It is very important to make sure that when you are in a disagreement that you take the time to fully understand what your disagreement is about. You might find out that you all agree, but your opinions or views were just miscommunicated.
Separate yourself from your position. Try to adopt this when in a disagreement. If we involve ourselves personally with our positions, we will have a harder time being objective about them. That lack of objectivity can inflame a disagreement. Try to view your position not as “your” position, but merely “a” position. In the same way, if you have an issue with someone else’s position, make clear that your concern is with the issue, not with the person, if that’s the case.
- Listen. Listen to people completely, if you can, before responding. If you have to interrupt, for example, because the other person is being long-winded, try to summarize your understanding first. People sometimes express themselves differently than you expect. If you fail to listen, you might find yourself responding not to the other person’s actual position, but only to what you thought the other person’s position was.
I don’t want to see you waste away great relationships over simple disagreements. Take the time to listen and understand, it’s better to loose an agreement than loose a great relationship.