I wanted to speak with you for a bit about burning bridges. DON’T DO IT! In my younger years I would cut people off at the drop of a dime. It didn’t matter the rhyme or reason. I soon learned a valuable lesson and I’m going to share it with you: “Times change and people do to.” To add to that, those same people could very well be the ones that you will need later. So as a life rule I never burn bridges.
So you may ask, “How do I remove people out of my life that are negative for me?” Well I’m glad you asked!
Instead of burning the bridge, how about create more space in between you and them. The only way people can bring negativity to your life is if you give them access. It they don’t have access they can’t affect you, UNLESS you were the issue in the first place, but that is another blog for another day.
Creating space isn’t a bad thing, and it’s easier to do and can salvage a relationship that could possibly be a benefit for you in the future. Here is someways to create more space between you and an individual.
- Structure conversations. If you absolutely have to communicate with this person on a regular basis, then you lead the conversation. Only talk about what is necessary, don’t allow the content to drift into areas that are too personal. This doesn’t mean you have to be rude, but be firm on handling business when dealing with them.
- Set a time limit. Since the Holidays are coming up, let’s use this example. If you know that every time you go over a certain family members house, the visit always lead to a negative experience then set a time limit. Before you arrive set how long you will stay, and when that your time is up, give everybody a warm salutation and leave. This will lessen the chances of overstaying and giving room for something to go wrong.
- Set expectations. Don’t allow this person to cross certain boundaries and when they do communicate that to them as much as it takes until they stop, and are fully aware not to cross your lines.
Now before I conclude, I need to let you in on a little secret. If you can do the above mentioned steps in a good spirit (not being rude or nasty) 9 times out of 10 the person will cut you off or straighten up to salvage the relationship. This keeps the proverbial blood off of your hands and serves as a litmus test on how true the relationship really is. 😉
Don’t allow people to wreck havoc in your life, but at the same time don’t be in the habit of burning bridges. Managing people is like managing money, you have to know when to invest, save, and/or spend.
Have a good day folks!